Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dreams Do Not Work That Way … at Least Not For Me

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There’s a trope in writing and even a little in the visual arts of television and film that also annoys me when it pops its head over the battlements but to unpack it, I must first talk about the way I experience dreams.

Dreaming while asleep apparently appears across species and while nearly universal are also powerfully idiosyncratic. I had one friend who described that as a child and into his teenage years every nightmare started in exactly the same manner; he was belly crawling through the tall grass of his backyard and suddenly he would come across a hideous stone idol, bats would fly, and then the scene would change as he fell into the terrifying dream his subconscious had cooked up that night.

I myself will sometimes have dreams in which I do not appear, but play out like movies with close-ups, cuts, and even recognizable stars playing parts in what are often frightening horror stories that my mind conjures up for its own amusement. Those dreams are uncommon, and the more generalized dream is one that plays out entirely from my own point of view, I am there experiencing the events and sensation of whatever the dream has crafted. And no matter how outlandish or at odds the dream is with reality, be it that I am having a grand time at an amusement park with a dear friend who in real life had passed away some years earlier, or the strange shifting scenery when walking around a corner and I find myself in a location that could not possibly have existed around that bend, such as walking from a school hallway and directly into the deep desert, the dream presents, at that moment, as absolute and uncontested reality. If something makes me question the events as impossible, that is the moment sleep slips away and I awake in my bed. Dreams, while they are playing, are unquestioned. They are what is.

That very unquestioned nature, that aura of total acceptance, bring us to the trope that annoys me so very much.

When a character in a book or in a show or movie finds themselves suddenly confronted with events that are far beyond their daily life and who mutters or exclaims ‘I must be dreaming,’ my suspension of disbelief shatters. That’s not how it works. If you are dreaming you do not know that you are dreaming and you accept it. So this trope, not only is it tired and worn, something that should be rejected on those grounds alone, it also breaks character for me and I would be so very happy if I never ever come across it again.

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The New Television Has Been Ordered

Well, as I mentioned in a previous post my 8-year-old 4K TCL smart television has been developing faults that are annoying, faint vertical lines that were apparent in some scenes and invisible in others. This past weekend, after several attempts at resetting the set in hopes that would clear up the trouble failed, I bit the bullet and ordered a new set.

Where the old set was an LED, the new one an OLED LG B5 smart TV is a technology that had been outside of comfortable financial resources in 2018. It also has better response times well suited for my casual Xbox gaming of playing Call of Duty on the weekends and getting my butt kicked by teenagers with mutant reaction times.  I ensured that the set also had a setting to display films as films and not as some unnaturally clear, motion-smoothed soap opera.

Thanks to a discount through my employer, Kaiser Permanente, and a spring sale code from LG itself, I managed to knock nearly $200 off the already discounted price. I am not sure, but I may have paid less for this far more capable television than I did for the set that will soon be recycled.

The original shipping date had it arriving this Thursday, May 7th, but that wasn’t going to work for me as I would be at the day job. I rescheduled the delivery for next Thursday, which just happens to be my birthday and part of a long weekend I had planned for celebrating the fact that I will have officially reached Medicare age. So that is when I will take down the old set, set-up the new one, and the next day have a company come out and pick up the discarded television for e-waste disposal and recycling.

OLED has superior black levels and ‘infinite’ contrast, so I will have to decide among my 4K discs, which one will christen the new set.

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No False Flags

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Even as people fled the scene of this year’s White House Correspondents’ Association’s dinner, others safely at their keyboards asserted with the confidence of fools that the shooting had been manufactured as a ‘false flag’ to either generate sympathy for a historically unpopular president or distract the people from other massive troubles dogging this administration.

The WHCA shoot was not a false flag.

The Butler assassination attempt was not a false flag.

The Golf Course ambush attempt was not a false flag.

The Las Vegas mass shooting was not a false flag.

The Unite the Right March and killing was not a false flag.

Sandy Fucking Hook was not a false flag.

False flag attacks do in fact occur, but it is nearly always a state attacking another state, such as Nazi Germany claiming Poland attacked them in September of 1939 and as in that example they are also nearly always so terribly transparent as to fool no one. America is a nation of violent people with easy access to weaponry. It should shock no one that our political leaders face the threat of violence so often.

I have decried and denounced political violence repeatedly here on my blog, from the very deadly and serious attacks on any president or corporate officer to the street level assaults of ‘punch a Nazi.’ Political violence is a beast that, like cancer grows on itself, and once loosed is difficult to excise. I am glad that the assassination attempts against the idiotic, narcissistic, petty, vengeful, and cruel person have failed.  Should a major blood vessel in that rotting matter he calls a brain burst like an ancient bicycle tire, and he dropped dead, you would not find one portion of grief in me, but should you confess a plot to murder him, I would turn you in without a moment’s hesitation.

Murderers and would-be murderers must face the law in a court that resolves their matters without fear or favor, and the political troubles must be solved politically and not from high-speed projectiles.

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And Now the End is Near (For My TV)

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March 2018, using the money I earned in overtime working the Annual Enrollment Period for Medicare from the previous 6 months, I purchased a 55″ 4K LED smart TV by Chinese manufacturer TCL.  I launched my new bigger video experience by hosting friends for a Cold War mini-Marathon of three films. (The Manchurian Candidate, The Spy Who Came in From the Cold,and Dr. Strangelove.)

For the past 8 years this television has performed quite well, though for the last 12 months or so it has seemed that the app running through the Roku interface have become more sluggish often with a delay on some streamers that can be very annoying. When you hit ‘pause’ on a Netflix program you want it to pause right then, not a second and a half later. Honestly though, the lag in some responses is a minor inconvenience.

What is becoming evident is that the screen may now be showing premature signs of wear and age. I have noticed very faint but still visible lines running vertically on the far-left side of the monitor. During dark or even rapidly changing sequences they are so faint as to be nearly, but only nearly, imperceptible. The same cannot be said for brilliantly lit or lightly colored scenes which make the line stand out.

My research has indicated that there is the possibility that the board controlling the backlight for the set may be at fault and a period of absolutely no power, not merely switched off, may correct the issues by allowing the logic in the controller to reset.

However, should that fail, then I must begin preparing to replace the television. At the moment the lines, however annoying, are actually faint enough that for most of the time I can ignore them, letting them slip from my notice, but if it is the backlight, the problem will not diminish but grow until it forces me to replace the set with a newer model.

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This and That

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.April has been a chaotic month.  The most impactful event, so far, has been the bout of RSV that I managed to contract. Respiratory Syncytial Virus as the name suggests is a virus of the respiratory system, specifically the upper respiratory regions which in the very young, the aged, or the immunocompromised can be a very serious illness. A vaccine for RSV has been developed and two years ago, because I am not an idiot, I took that vaccination. Now, people often think of a vaccination as a perfectly protective shield, but that is not the case with all vaccines. In many cases what a vaccine will do if it doesn’t prevent infection and illness is reduce the severity of that illness when contracted, The fact that I contracted RSV and was ill is not evidence that the vaccine had no effect. In all probability the fact that I was vaccinated likely saved me from a hospitalization as I am no longer a spring chicken and the medication that keeps my arthritis in check compromises my immune system. Note that while I was home sick for a week, coughing my lungs out and having a terrible time, my sweetie-wife was exposed to the virus and has not, now more than a week later, shown any signs of catching the bug. For her the vaccination looks to have been that perfect shield.

It was a week and a couple of days ago that I returned to work and I am just now starting to really get back in something that feels normal health-wise. The coughing has subsided greatly and I am managing to reclaim much of my former energy.

Last night, April 16th, was the season finale for the second run of The Pitt, the medical drama that I never thought I’d get so totally sucked into. Season one turned the final few episodes into a massive dramatic sequence with a spree shooter at a local music festival and many fans, including myself, expected some major event to drive the second half or later of season two, but that was not the plan by the show’s creative team. Instead, with much of the focus on its central character of Dr. Robby, this season seemed to be much more focused on stress for the characters and just how much they erode under its corrosive pressure. A wise choice to avoid repeating the form of season one, keeping the writing fresh and the fans off balance.

I have little to say on the state of the world. The government of the USA is out of control, violating its and international laws with abandon as we suffer the whims of a malignant self-absorbed moron whose petty and greedy nature shatters the post war world order.

After the break in coherent thought brought on by RSV I have returned to my Cascade mountain set folk horror novel with the outlining process now under way.

My best to everyone, stay safe, stay hydrated, and remember don’t be mean.

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I am Back

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I have been missing from my online presence because I have been sick, and it was no fun at all.

During the last week of March, I noticed a scratch in the back of my throat and over that final weekend of March it grew worse. Since I already had an appointment to see one of my doctors on the 31st as part of my on-going treatment for a chronic cough I planned to bring the issues to her. By that date it had grown more painful and congestion had settled in. They took swabs from my upper nasal cavities and the test showed I had RSV.

I had been vaccinated against this very virus but vaccinations when they do not prevent infection at least reduce the severity of it. Given that I suspect that without the shot I may very well have ended up in the hospital. As it turned out, the doctor ordered me home for a week and I suffered terribly for several of those days, despite the mini-pharmacy of drugs I was taking.

During the illness I had only a limited capacity for rational thought with barely the focus for even simple mental tasks. Luckily, in addition to the precautions we took, my sweetie-wife’s vaccination appeared to bolster her immune system better than mine had done for me, and she showed no sign of RSV.

So, today I return to my day job and I hopefully return to work on my next novel.

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A Lazy Tuesday

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Yesterday, Tuesday March 10th, 2026, turned into quite a lazy day for me. After my doctors noted that I had some liver numbers that were out of an acceptable range (which have since returned to more normal values) she asked me to get an ultrasound scan to check the organ. That I scheduled for yesterday at 8:00 am as part of the procedure requires 8 hours of fasting ahead of the test and I know that doing it late in the day would prove challenging.

After skipping a breakfast, I turned up at the Kaiser Zion hospital and without much delay got taken back for my ultrasound. The procedure was fast, painless, and even the gel that they apply to ensure good conductivity of the sound waves was warm and not cold preventing that expected discomfort.

It is my usual habit, when I have a medical procedure of any kind to take the day off, even if like this ultrasound I know it’s going to be fast and without any medication. So, after a quick shopping trip for lunch materials that fit my newly engaged diet, I returned home and played vegetable for the rest of the day.

Today I return to work at my day job but then I have the rest of the week off to attend a cherry blossom festival in Balboa Park tomorrow and enjoy a long weekend after that.

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Scheduling Conflicts

Warner Brothers Studios

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From the moment I laid eyes on the trailer for The Bride! (one must not skip the exclamation mark) I knew that this was a film I wanted to see. A mash-up of classic Warner Brothers’ 30s gangsters with Frankenstein? That is an idea so wild, so unconventional that to wait for streaming struck me as a crime against cinema. It was a natural for me. I have several WB classic gangster films on Blu-Ray disc and while no direct adaptation of Frankenstein exists in my library of films, it is a property I have seen many movie versions of thus seeing The Bride! became a requirement. It opens this weekend.

My sweetie-wife let me know that she wants to see this new film as well and that means we watch it at our usual time and convenience: the earliest available Sunday morning matinee. She is not a late-night person as I am and so these showings not only fit her circadian rhythm but if it’s early enough also provide an excellence chance for a lunch out.

So far all is well and good, but then San Diego Film Geeks had to go and get into the picture.

San Diego Film Geeks is a local organization, club, association, a something, that hosts cinema screenings throughout the calendar year. In addition to their Secret Morgue, a six-film marathon each September where the titles are kept secret and only a theme is announced, they also host a year-long film festival at a micro theater, the Digital Gym, screening one film, or sometimes a double feature, a month for that year’s theme. Previous festivals have been ‘Get Hammered,’ celebrating Hammer Horror, and ‘Noir on the Boulevard’ for film noir. In the past, I have purchased the year-long pass giving them the maximum support, but this year’s theme is Westerns, a genre that, with a few exceptions, I have never particularly taken to.

March’s western is Blood on the Moon and is described as a film noir western.

Damn, if that one doesn’t interest me. Of course it is screening Sunday at noon. If I want to see the San Diego Film Geeks presentation, I will have to push the trippy gangster/monster movie off for another week.

As if starting a diet this week was painful enough.

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When Art Hurts

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I am not talking about the production of art, though that also sometimes inflicts nasty emotional pain. No, what I am referencing is when the art you consume, in my case film & television, strikes you in a deep and emotional context that the creators may not have intended. Last night I watched the most recent episode of HBO’s hit series The Pitt about the disasters and triumphs in a fictional Pittsburg hospital’s emergency department. It’s a fantastic program with every aspect of production, writing, and performance absolutely stellar.

One of the multiple storylines going on in the episode unsettled me, leaving me to wonder in terror if what I watched could possibly be my fate. Panic attacks are not part of my emotional make-up. I learned this about myself 30 years ago. While working in a gas station on the night shift, people would come in bloodied from assaults and accidents, and I maintained my calm, but with this particular plot, my heart sped up, and my discomfort made me want to turn away. I am not going to reveal which storyline. It’s not really relevant to my mindless meanderings. This is about how art impacts us and sometimes in wholly unintentional manners and how that impact might even lead us to change the course of our lives. I certainly will be thinking long and hard about it for at least the next week and images from the episode continue to haunt me.

The last time something like this struck me so very personally was the summer of 1984. Ghostbusters, which gets a shout-out in my most recent novel, released that summer and along with my friends, we ventured to the multiplex for this comedy that essentially asked nothing of its audience save the suspension of disbelief. But it turned out to be a little painful for me, at least on a first viewing. My emotional trauma, slight as it was, lessened with repeated viewings.

And what was it that hurt me, personally, in that silly broad comedy?

Lewis Tulley, Central Park West.

When Lewis Tulley, perfectly performed by the terribly talented Rick Moranis, made his first appearance on the screen, chasing his doomed crush for Dana (Sigourney Weaver) I physically cringed. It seemed that all of my doubts and insecurities had been given form and portrayed for everyone to see and to have a good laugh at. Of course, no one else saw it that way. Not the strangers in the auditorium, not my friends sitting next to me. My reaction — a product of my own doubts and insecurities  –was just that, my own creation. It took a long time before I could watch that performance without a twinge of embarrassment, but it did eventually come.

The Pitt’s episode hit just as hard as Ghostbusters did, but on a totally different vector. And I must remind myself of a truth I uncovered many years ago: Self-perception is the least reliable human trait.

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Life, Uninterrupted

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Not a lot going on at the moment in my life, just the usual day to day action, reactions, and observations that is the slow steady passing of time from today to tomorrow. Certainly, there is a tremendous amount going on in the world but I am far from inclined to write even short posts about the terrible state of the United States. Those inclined to see it my way already do and those who are not so inclined are for all effective purposes immune to any arguments I might make. This is the reason why I am so terrible at Twitter. I see a stupid post from some random person I scroll right on by.  There’s nothing to gain from arguing with strangers on the internet. When I do respond to a post it is nearly always because I personally know that person. Even then I merely note and move on from most of their posts without interaction.

I have started a new novel but it’s very vague at this time and I am just sort of feeling my way through the opening chapters to see if I can uncover the voice for this book before committing myself to its creation.

My Sweetie-Wife and I watched Predators: Badlands a film I suspect will slip quietly and quickly from my memory. It is not bad; it is very competently crafted but I never crossed the gulf of empathy between myself and the characters. Taking us into the Yautja culture robbed them of most of their power as a force and the character came off as pretty one-note.

In anticipation of the next season, I have begun a  rewatch of Dune: Prophecy  the HBO series about the founding of the Bene Gesserit, and it’s just as wonderful on the second watch as it was on the first and like The Godfather, a rewatching actually helps me with the tangled and dense plotting.

Last night I watched the trailer for the Netflix series How to get to Heaven from Belfast and had the most enjoyable reaction to a trailer that I have experienced in a very long time. This quickly shot up the list for something for us to watch in our household.

You know when the manufacturer suggests a part should be replaced annually, that’s something to listen to, I was shaving Monday morning and felt a strange sensation against my cheek and something pinged off the countertop. A part of the electric shaver head had abandoned its post and one of the two metal foils that cover the cutting surface had sprung up. I wasn’t cut in any way and a replaced head showed up quickly via Amazon. My order history showed that it had been two years to the month since I had replaced the head that should be replaced annually.

And that, my friends is my life, mostly dull, somewhat creative, and at least a little entertaining.

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