Author Archives: Bob Evans

Movie Review: Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

It is hard to intellectually grasp that Mega Shark versus Giant Octopus is in the same artistic field as Spartacus, but they are. Yesterday we celebrated Fish’s birthday with food, friends, and a bad movie. The film, at her request was Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. The movie was produced by the company The Asylum, which noted fort making cheap rip-off titles of major films Included from their productions slate, Transmorphers, The Terminators, and I am Omega. Their budgets are quite low and the it is the bane of modern film making that digital effect truly are within anyone’s reach. Note I did not state that GOOD digital effects are within anyones reach, for big screen high def digital you still need real money.

Mega Shark stars Deborah Gibson as the worlds dumbest Marine Biologist, Lorenzo Lamas as mysterious, cliche spouting, government agent, Sean Lawlor as washed exposition professor,  and Vic Chao as locked eyebrow love interest.

The point at which teh audience will know that they are in for and Ed Wood level of disastrous movie-making will depend on the audiences attention to detail or basic knowledge of marine life. IT might be when they spot loads of stock underwater footage from the bleedin’ tropic being used for Arctic waters, or it might be when they notice that clueless marine biologists as no nail-polish in wide-shots, but dark heavy nail-polish in close ups, or it might even be the terribly non-issue sunglasses worn by military pilots. However they become aware the audience will be ignorant of how truly awful the product will become.

As you can see from the image above the scale of the shark is something more associated with Japan than San Francisco. The shot was followed by a shot from directly above the bridge. Stock footage of traffic on the bridge into which that superimposed their shark biting through the driveway. Because it was stock footage the cars continued to roll along ignoring the shark. Apparently nothing will interrupt bay area commuters.

Mind the plot is equally mind-numbing. The above scene was one where the heros were attempting to capture the shark and corral it in SF bay for study. Better yet it was going to be a secret and not one would know. Yes the film is that stupid.

We had a grand time watching this film, but that’s because we had become Joel and the ‘bots. Do not attempt watching this film alone.

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Rashomon in REM

So the other night I was back to using my nasal pillows, trying to find the right fit so that my therapy would work to best effect.
Anyway, here the sequence of events from my point of view.
My sweetie-wife wakes me up in the night and tells me that my mask is loose and blowing air. I reach up, check and find that the nasal pillows are in place and not leaking. I groggily tell her everything is fine and go back to sleep.
Here’s the sequence of events from her point of view:
My mask is loose and blowing sir. She wakes me and tells me this. I adjust and re-fit my mask, then I check it again and tell her that it’s fine.

Seems I am completely capable of resetting my mask and not being awake enough to remember it.

On a good news front, it does look like version one of Cawdor will be finished this month.

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Movie Review: Prince of Persia: The Sands Of Time

So this past Monday my sweetie-wife and I went out and watched Prince Of Persia: The Sands of Time. This is a movie based on a video-game franchise so I went in with lowered expectations.

Frankly, I enjoyed myself. Oh this not Oscarâ„¢material by any stretch of the imagination. It’s not as good as the first Pirates of The Caribbean film, but this movie entertained and it was fun.

Of course you have to accept that this is an unreal movie, like Pirates, or Alladin. So the heros are capable of amazing feats. There are no surprises in the plot, the film is capably written, acted, and directed. For summer popcorn fare this worked just fine.

Two things of note.

1) Alfred Molina stole every freakin’ scene he was in. The man is an amazing actor and his comic sense was spot on. He’s underworld business man was a great addition to the story and he never failed to bring a laugh.

2) If I were to cast the voice of Niven’s Puppeteers it would be Gemma Arterton In this film and in Clash of The Titans I was memorized and seduced by her voice. The effect I think Niven wants for his Puppeteers.

This movie was not enough of a hit with me that I will buy it on disc, but it was worth a morning’s matinee price.

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This CPAP thing is getting kind of rough

So, I got a new CPAP machine last week. This one — the exact same model as my last one — is covered by the insurance because it came through their vendor. Since I was changing machines and vendors I thought I might switch masks as well.

I had been using what are called nasal pillows. As you can see it is a very minimal mask system. It’s light and when I tried it in the hospital during the study it seemed to work for me.

Alas at home i didn’t work out so well. I toss and turn a lot in my sleep and the nasal pillows would shift and move, breaking the seal and then jetting air outside my nose. I would also wake up to find the nasal pillow in my hand. I had taken them off in my sleep. No good.

So I switched to a nasal mask.This thing has two straps coming off the forehead piece, two more that come off the bottom of the mask making for a very secure fit. I was fairly confident that this maks would not slip as easily as the nasal pillows.

It doesn’t. However it seems in my sleep I do find it uncomfortable. I have awakened in the night, or had my sweetie-wife wake and tell me, to find the mask off and discarded. Last night it only happened once so I happy about that, but it’s a problem that is proving tough to lick.

I will have to lick it. Not only is sleep apena very dangerous to your health, I really really like the way I feel when I have gotten a good night’s sleep.

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How very Cool

A new air speed record has been matched.

Yesterday, the USAF launched an experimental aircraft, the X-51A, and it achieved Mach 6 for more than 3 minutes. It used scram-jet technologies, a stepping stone towards space-planes.

Now there is still a long way to go. Mach 6 is fast, but three minuets is not very long and to reach orbital speeds you need something on the order of Mach 16 or 17. Still is is very cool that the USAF is still in the record busting business.

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General Chat

Well Cawdor is doing nicely. I think I can safely say that I have less than 100 pages to go to reach the end of the novel. At 5 or more pages per day that less than twenty writing days or four weeks. So If I hang in there I should have the first draft done by the end of June. Maybe the third week of june as i tend to write faster as I get closer to the end of a story.

One thing I have certainly learned  is that I really don’t know what my novels are about until I write them. This book was going to be a simple retelling of MacBeth but with an SF setting and playing around with gender to explore the character dynamics in a new light.

It has become a book about human nature, cynicism, culture, and how much do you owe your culture?

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Blu-ray Review: In The Loop

So my sweetie-wife and I came across this film, In The loop, when a trailer for it appeared on the blu-ray of Dog Soldiers. The trailer grabbed us and we just knew we had to see this movie.

In The Loop is the story of a build-up to war in the middle east my the USA and Great Britain, but rather than tell a serious tale dealing with Presidents and Prime Ministers this film is farce and centers on the middle management civil servants and elected officials.

The cast is primarily British and unless you follow Brit Tv most of them would be unknown to you. (The phrase in the image to the left should be delivered shouted and in a heavy Scottish accent for full effect.)

There are people trying desperately to stop the up coming war and others equally committed to seeing it realized. If you are humorless when it comes to your recent events and politics then you might want to give this film a pass. However if you can let go of your personal politics and enjoy the madness of rampant cursing Scotsmen, bewildered MPs, conniving suck-ups, General more Political than Military and back stabbing office politics then give this blu-ray a spin.

I was disappointed that there were more bonus features, though the 28 minutes of non-stop deleted scenes were a treasure.

After the cut — the trailer.

Continue reading →

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Food poisoning

So it seems that last week I was suffering from food poisoning. A friend of mine who had gone with us to JPL’s open house had the same symptoms over the same period of time. In some ways he had it worse because he was vomiting but my symptoms persisted longer. (Perhaps because on the ENbrel medication I am on for arthritis.)

Anyway yesterday was the first day I could eat without stomach cramps. (Though tonight I did have mild cramping after a dinner of fish.)

It has cost me a weeks writing, but I got back onto my horse today and Cawdor is moving forward again.

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