When I first watched the trailer for Barbarian film my initial thoughts were that it looked stupid and uninteresting, and I placed it on my do not bather to see mental listing.

20th Century Studios

Then on Facebook and Twitter I saw from various quarters of the horror community that the film had interesting twists and sociological commentary that couldn’t be explored without spoilers.

Well, with my curiosity engaged I changed my mind and took in a late-night screening this past Friday.

I need to listen to my intuition. This film was bland, and uninteresting and an insult to the audience’s intuitive intelligence.

Every narrative film is fiction and ever fiction has a plausibility envelope. Actions within that envelope are accepted as possible and within the realm of the characters and nature of that fictional world, actions beyond that envelops shatter disbelief and destroy the story’s illusion of reality. The boundaries of plausibility envelop vary with the genre of the story. In a superhero film Drax can be swallowed by a huge beast and emerge unscathed by its digestive acids but in a thriller such as JawsQuint cannot survive the maws of a shark. Dramatic fiction has tight boundaries on its envelopes while fantastic fiction has more distant edges. However, a thriller/horror without supernatural or science-fiction elements to push that envelope has a limited range of actions before disbelief is compromised. Barbarian ignores all constraints of reality and all illusion of reality vanishes like fog on a bright hot day.

In the screening I attended laughter erupted during dramatic moments because no one present could accept anything presented as ‘real.’ The violations of plausibility that I witnessed were not ones restricted to people with advance of obscure knowledge but ones everyone understands as to how the world functions. If person A plummets from a height and person B plummets a moment later, we understand that B lands on A, but Barbarian would have us accept the A ends up atop of B.

Some spoilers follow but honestly you should just skip this movie.

A middle-aged or older woman who has never been properly fed cannot survive being crushed between an automobile and a structure much remain a terminator level of threat. The same malnourished woman cannot simply lift a full-grown man of normal size straight up more than seven feet. If someone falls from fifty or more feet they are not, if they survive, going to stand and walk away.

There is very nearly but not quite a Psycho level twist about half-way through the film’s running time, but unlike Psycho where the hand off to a new set of leads were to characters, we had some establishment and level of engagement with Barbarian throws us cold into a new principal character and one so utterly unlikable you can only root for his demise.

Barbarian wasted my time, precious hours I can never reclaim.

Released in 1975 Jaws, along with Star Wars two years later, created the summer blockbuster. Optioned and sent into development and production before the novel was published Jaws made a superstar director of Steven Spielberg and terrorized a generation. 14 When I came out Jaws was a memorable theater going experience and one my all-time favorite films.

Seven years ago, I attended a screening celebrating the film’s 40th anniversary but that screening was nothing like the one I experienced last night.

The digital projection was flawless with the image sharp and perfect as though we were

Universal Studios

watching a print struck directly from the original camera negative. The sounds, which may have been remastered, was rich and enveloping with the bass notes of Williams’ iconic and unforgettable score presented powerfully. Of course, what made this screening so very different from any other of Jaws was that the movie had been retro-scanned into a 3-D format.

In 2016 I made the trip to Hollywood for some Halloween themed fun at Universal Studios followed by a screening of 1979’s Dawn of the Dead retro-scanned into 3-D. Because that conversion had been so successful in presenting the film in 3-D without savaging the experience I wanted to see if Jaws had a similar result.

Yes, yes it did.

The 3-D conversion, which I understand Spielberg helped supervise, was flawless, giving the film that illusion of depth but without taking away from the masterful filmmaking of Spielberg or cinematographer Bill Butler. The added planes of depth changed the experience for me. Now, I have seen this film countless time. It is a movie I know well and can quote at length, but this version felt new and fresh as I noticed the framing of foreground and background elements in a manner I have never noticed before. Because these elements exist in their own plane of depth that are easier to notice and pay particulate attention to. For example, during Quint’s famous ‘Indianapolis’ monologue this was the first time I really noticed that Hooper is in the frame for the entire speech giving Dreyfus time to listen and subtly react as the horrific tale unfolds. With the laser-sharp projection and a screen that is never too dark due to the polarizing glasses, Jaws in 3-D is an experience not to be missed.

Hatching is a family-drama/horror film from Finland.

Siiri Solalinna plays 13 years old Tinja, a girl trying desperately as a gymnast to please her

Nordisk Film

mother, a former gymnast herself and now creating content for the internet presenting her life and family as a model of perfection.

When a stray bird ruins one of mother’s video shoots it ends up dead and feeling guilty for the animal Tinja finds the bird’s nest and begins incubating its egg.

Kept secret from the rest of the family Tinja egg’s grows to enormous size and reacts directly to her presence and touch. Once hatched the chick, nearly as large as Tinja herself, displays a deep emotional connection to Tinja and begins acting upon her repressed feelings and anger.

Sadly, Hatching is not a very engaging picture. It is a prime example of a plot-driven structure. Aside from taking the egg to begin with and hiding it Tinja, our protagonist, does very little to drive the action of the story or even make meaning choices in her actions. Tinja reacts to the bird’s death, reacts to the strange egg, reacts to discovering her mother’s affair, but rarely is proactive making for a passive character. This is a shame as Siiri Solalinna is a terrific young actress and, in my opinion, gives the most compelling performance of the film. I certainly hope to see more her as she matures and continue her career.

The special effects of the film are quite good. I believe that for most of the ‘monster’ effects the production utilized puppetry and make-up effects rather than digital visual imagery and their choice was correct. Hatching doesn’t feel or look cheap The cinematography is lush and vivid, the sets and design inviting and create a real of real places and locations. It is the script that fails the production giving as an interesting premise that never fully mature into character driven story.

Hatching is currently streaming in the US on HULU.

From the Writer/Director team that brough us Sinister and Doctor Strange comes the cinematic adaptation of Joe Hill’s short story The Black Phone.

Set in a Denver suburb in 1978 The Black Phone focuses on a pair of siblings Finn (Mason Thames) and Gwen (Madeline McGraw), their abusive alcoholic father, (Jeremy Davies) and the child abductor/murder dubbed ‘The Grabber’ (Ethan Hawke.) Things turn dire for the brother

Universal Pictures

and sister when Finn is the next victim of the serial killer, trapped in a soundproofed basement while The Grabber taunts and terrifies the young boy. In the basement a disabled telephone, it landline wires severed, rings and voices of The Grabber’s pervious victims attempt to help Finn survive and escape his ordeal.

The Black Phone is the second horror film I have watched this year with a nostalgic view of the later 1970s, the other being Ti West’s A24 release X. While X felt like someone had been told about the 70s and reproduced the period from that secondhand dissemination The Black Phone is more authentically accurate without the jarring anachronisms, Adult as missing persons on milk container, 24-hour UHF stations, and the like, of X. This film is peppered with beloved detritus of the 70s, the TV show Emergency! and if you look closely issues of Starlog Magazine. The only real violation of the period is Finn’s miniature penlight Saturn V which was far too bright and lasted for too long for the incandescent flashlights of the era.

The performances are consistently good to outstanding. The children characters are both written and directed as realistic children avoiding the ‘overly adult’ manner often found in child protagonists. Thames and McGraw are particularly standout as actors, giving performances that make both ends. terrified and determined, of the actions credible.

Brett Jutliewicz’s cinematography is unsettling and naturalistic, capturing the gloom and cold of the killing basement while just slightly off from reality that supports the supernatural aspects of the story. C. Robert Cargill’s and Scott Derrickson’s script is tight with little wasted time, moving the story along with a clean pacing that carries the audience through the story. Not everything established is critical but everything critical is established in the film’s first act showing a proper deference to Chekov without smashing the elements over the audience’s head.

The Black Phone is a solid entry in the horror genre and well worth seeing either in theaters or at home.